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Mother’s Day 2019 aka 5/12/19

 

 

What I liked about mother’s day 2019, compared to previous mother’s days, is the emergence of literature (social media and my trusty newspaper) that not everyone is happy on happy mother’s day. I needed this reminder. For some people, it really sucks. “Be careful about your boasting” was the message I received. So hard when I live and breathe and sometimes gag over their every movement. So hard when I spend 364 days trying to shape them into thinkers, doers, college-bound, and nice-to-Mom and on day #365 I get a card that says MOM upside down is WOW. So hard not to share. But I deeply respect the silent sadness that is out there. How I wish I could say I-SEE-YOU to all of you.  Today was 5/12/19. Call it what YOU want.

2019 also had a plethora of articles on “How To Spend Mother’s Day.” Every article had the same message: “Any way you want.” Sometimes it said: “Any way you f@#$-ing want.” Either way, message received. I had the day off, so my requests were: sleep in, long run, chill with kiddos (with tag-out privileges at any moment), then dash to a store or two or three. For the most part, it worked out! Handmade gifts and cards are just what the doctor of pharmacy ordered and it was perfect. I even found myself alone with my coveted Sunday Chicago Tribune with a hot coffee for 30 minutes. And then it happened: I read a story that I shouldn’t have. I saw the headline and knew better – I should have turned the page. But I read the darn story. Chicago-land recently lost a young child, at the hands of his parents, and it’s been heart-wrenching and gut-wrenching and makes me want to scream and shout and let it all out. I’ve purposely been avoiding the updates and NPR in the car because I just can’t handle those kinds of details. Especially not on my commutes. Because if I listen, I won’t be able to hold back the sorrow for this child that I’ve been pushing down inside. But today, on mother’s day 2019, I read the full article. And I let the sobs come. The kind which causes shoulders to shake, nose to run, and dogs to come lean. I was alone with the heavy Tribune, my heavy luke-warm coffee, and my heavy dog. Everything was heavy and I was alone and the moment eventually passed.

My daughter returned from gymnastics and remembered she forgot one more gift in her backpack: a glass jar filled with 20 reasons why she loves me. Happy tears. (Who gives young children glass jars?) Soon the tribune article was in my rearview mirror, my coffee forgotten, and the dog disappeared. So many times as pharmacists we get a glimpse into someone’s home life. We hear how loved ones talk to one another, we squinch at the humiliation, and pray there’s no fear. We know that with trust comes stories. From patients, students, and technicians. Everyday we make the decision whether or not to engage, inquire, and invest our emotional and professional reserves.  The reserves saved for our own stuff and our families’ stuff. Some of us are brave and scared and go in anyway. Some of us skate along the line we’ve drawn in the sand.

We often don’t know what to do if we suspect neglect, abuse, or mistreatment. My colleague and I have been teaching a women’s health elective for years and we always include a class on domestic violence. We invite a guest speaker from a local shelter or support agency to speak to the pharmacy students about how we can help. She gives us tools, such as conversation starters and resources, to use when the time is right. I’ll write more on this in the future because it deserves more time and space but fittingly for today, we are reminded of those mothers who don’t have choices. I’m so freaking thankful that I am celebrating mother’s day 2019, because it reminds me that love overcomes hate and the good tears overcome the sorrowful ones. I’m thankful that I was able to choose how I wanted to spend mother’s day 2019, not just the activities, but because it served as a reminder of a real choice that stems from an equitable partner team. I’m thankful that my parents made this visible for me and in turn, I hope my own children remember this. For moms of fallen children, for the moms who feel helpless, for the moms who feel boastful, for the moms in prison, for the moms without partners, for the moms in our hearts – today was 5/12/19 – you get to call it what you want.

Brooke

Superheroic: A Blog for Moms with a Pharmacy Twist

Be.superheroic@gmail.com

By Suzanne Soliman

Dr. Suzanne Soliman earned her PharmD from the University of Illinois at Chicago in 2004. She then completed a residency in primary care with an emphasis on education at Midwestern University Chicago College of Pharmacy and a teaching fellowship at the University of Illinois at Chicago College of Medicine. Suzy worked as a clinical pharmacist, a medical science liaison and national field team educator prior to becoming an Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs at the University of Illinois at Chicago College of Pharmacy. She most recently was an Associate Dean at Touro College of Pharmacy New York and an independent pharmacy owner.

Suzy has 75 publications and has presented at numerous national meetings. She is a Rufus A. Lyman
award recipient which is granted for the best manuscript published in the American Journal of Pharmacy Education. Suzy has served as a medical expert on a number of pharmacy issues and has been a reviewer for Annals of Pharmacotherapy and Currents in Pharmacy Teaching and Learning. She has been quoted in “Crain”, “Chicago Business Magazine” and “Time Out Chicago”. Currently, she is the Chief Academic Officer for the Accreditation Council for Medical Affairs (ACMA). Her areas of interest are assessment and development of medical affairs professionals.

Suzy loves spending time with her husband and children, cooking, baking and eating!! She recently
started working out and is addicted to the “barre”. For years, she struggled between work/life balance and the support from the Pharmacist Moms Group has really helped her. Ultimately finding that balance is something she works on each day. She tries to live by one of her favorite quotes by Rumi: “Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor”